UNIVERSITY PRESS DEMANDS
RALPH REMOVE REVIEW
Claims it is "disparaging
to rural and urban
Texans alike."

TWELVE GREAT NONFICTION BOOKS
Some of our favorite nonfiction titles
from the last year or so, telling of stars, Patagonia,
human anatomy, growing up with the CIA,
hidden Americans, traveling through Arabia, breasts, Zen and
the music of John Cage, raving through Europe, war,
growing up in the barrio, calligraphy, and Freud's addictions.

NEW REVIEWS
Things That Are
"In the year 3,000,002,013
the Andromeda Galaxy
may collide with our Milky Way.
At first this sounds miserable,
like a collision of two bird flocks.
But galaxy members fly farly,
not tip to tip.
In a galactic collision
the stars do not actually collide ---
as with crisscrossing marching bands,
only the interstices collide."

What They Do in the Dark
"I distinguish here between terror and fear.
From terror one escapes screaming,
but fear has an odd seduction.
Fear and the sense of sex
are linked in secret conspiracy,
but terror is a sickness like hate."

Travels with Bertha
"Who would ever guess that a country
as dry and forbidding and arrogant as Australia
could encompass such a treasure trove of place names:
Kununurra, Broome, Torn Price,
Mount Nameless (named "Nameless"),
Kalgoorlie, Ningaloo Reef, Monkey Mia
(Mama mia!) and Rottenest Island."

Taliesin Diary
"Noted the horizontal terraces along steep hills ---
the cow paths which they make so they can graze,
never walking straight up or down.
Wright once said that a city's streets are
always laid out along the cowpaths because
they know the secret of contour walking."

The White House
"There is also the Wash Room
for washing up after a hearty campaign,
the Mean Kitchen where
you roast your political rivals,
and a Circular Room for Nixonites
to fabricate political scandal."

Gandharan Buddhist Reliquaries
"The gods of the ten-world systems
had assembled to see him,
and there was not a place
the size of the tip of a hair
in twelve leagues around him
that was not filled with gods."

Seeing the New South
"He saw the antebellum south
as an organic society with slavery at its center ...
populated by docile slaves and kindly,
patriarchal masters."

Great Reviews of the Past
The Tragic History of the Sea
"Dog makes very good food...
for often when I had cow's flesh
and there was a fat dog to be had,
I chose the latter in preference to the beef."

LETTERS
The Horse Whisperer

MORE LETTERS
Let's talk more my bunny!

EVEN MORE LETTERS
Letters We Never Finished Reading
$500,000.00

ARTICLES
Great Articles from the Past
Just Say Neigh
"When we lived in France,
there was a boucherie nearby
with a big, gilded horse's head above the door,
perhaps indicating the category of viande
the shop specialized in."

READINGS
Donkey Derby
"Tonight, on this the latest
antecedent to tomorrow,
it is starry out and I am
not in a conquering mood.
Come and miss the boat with me."

POETRY
My Black Cat
"My black cat gave birth last night
Four and five make nine-o
One of them had deep blue eyes
Eyes as pretty as mine-o."

Great Poems of the Past
The Forbidden Books
"The Plague of God, the Rod of God
Sister Ann Zita wrote on that clouded blackboard
while Donald Wilcox whispered
the Cock of God..."

Flowers Up Her Nose
"They had planned to leave her but one grey lily,
A lily to eat at her breast. They put, as well,
A twisted oak to grow out her sodden soul.
That's what the gardeners had planned, they say."

A RALPH ANTHOLOGY
The Noisiest Book Review in the Known World
has just been published.
It contains 200 or so of what we believe
to be the best articles, readings, reviews and poems
from this magazine from our first issue in 1995.
Here you will find all necessary information
on ordering this two-volume set
which one critic called "magic."

THE OFFICIAL RALPH
Paradox-of-the-Month

GENERAL INDEX
All the back-issues of RALPH,
including titles of books under review,
along with author, subject, and publisher,
plus links to readings, articles, and poems
that have appeared on-line
since 1994.

A PITHY SAMPLE
of our most notorious reviews
as collected in the hard-copy
"FOLIO"

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