Hits from a Decade Past
We reviewed some strange and wonderful books
back there in the year 2002 (remember 2002?)
Here we offer up a dozen or so
of our favorite reviews and readings
from those halcyon years.

NEW REVIEWS
Watergate: A Novel
"Perhaps the next Democrat
to become president
can give the chief justice's
job to McGovern," Alice mused.
"He can do a little
'legislating from the bench,'
and we'll get amnesty, acid, and
abortion after all."

A Winter in Arabia
"She's tough, wily,
resourceful, well informed
by her bedouin companions about
whatever problems may lie ahead."

Cream of Kohlrabi
"He's a crabby old bastard,
but he has learned to get by,
at eighty-nine, on a combination
of memory (fading),
guile (holding steady),
and patience (decreasing)."

Soldiers of the White Sun
"This book is
the worst advertisement
you could find for
the oft-favored policy
of total war over
peaceful negotiation."

Great Journeys
"What have these
cheerful editors left out?
How about a snow-bike ride
into one of the Gulags, or
a leisurely stroll along
the route of the Bataan
Death March?"

The Underground Press
"We started having
these meetings to work things out.
It's like a marriage,
when you start having meetings
you know you're in trouble."

A Thousand Lives
"The consul couldn't understand
how a single man could
wield that kind of power over
so many people."

Smart Ass Cripple
"Forget FDR and
Helen Keller, Christopher Reeve
and that stiff-upper-lip,
bravery-against-all-odds stuff."

Great Reviews of the Past
A Round-Heeled Woman
"We find ourselves rooting for her,
wanting her to just cool it,
stop pushing so hard,
let it come on its own.
Just show her age.
If such is possible."

LETTERS
Cihuly
Florida's Ocean Railroad
To Key West

MORE LETTERS
Long Way Back to
The River Kwai

EVEN MORE LETTERS
Cryptic Letters of the Month
If you hear bells ringing
Get your hearing checked

YET EVEN MORE LETTERS
Letters We Never Finished Reading
MULTINATIONAL OIL COMPANY EXXON
YOUR DIPLOMAT HAS ARRIVE

ARTICLE
A Flotilla of Boobs
"You'd think
the Chinese economy was
in enough trouble without
misplacing 130,000 pairs of boobs."

READINGS
Cream of Kohlrabi Soup
"Were the camps
just about money, then?
Was this some kind
of absurd tort settlement?
A little moral lapse, we apologize,
here's the money we confiscated,
with interest, and now
we're even, goodbye."

POETRY
Changing Genres
"But now I want a Russian novel,
a 50-page description of you sleeping,
another 75 of what you think staring out
a window. I don't care about the plot
although I suppose there will have to be one..."

Great Poems of the Past
A Bird Is Singing
"Somewhere out there the war is a bluebird
Who loves me and I love a girl
More perfect than all roses
The poor war is alone."

THE OFFICIAL RALPH
Paradox-of-the-Month

GENERAL INDEX
All the back-issues of RALPH,
including titles of books under review,
along with author, subject, and publisher,
plus links to readings, articles, and poems
that have appeared on-line
since 1994.

A PITHY SAMPLE
of our most notorious reviews
as collected in the hard-copy
"FOLIO"

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