R A L P H The Review of Arts, Literature, Philosophy and the Humanities Number 146 Mid-Spring 2006 |
NEW TITLES
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Beasts of No Nation Shooting Star
Conversations on Consciousness
My Fundamentalist Education Great Reviews of the Past
BRIEF REVIEWS LETTERS ARTICLES
Great Articles of the Past
READINGS Suicide and the Emergency Room
POETRY
THE OFFICIAL RALPH
GENERAL INDEX
A PITHY SAMPLE
SUBSCRIBE
Blue Days, Black Nights
"The medical resident's eyes widened.
I realized I might be
sounding delusional.
'It's true. I'm a
Hollywood screenwriter.
I know everyone
claims to be a
screenwriter these days.
I bet you're
working on a screenplay.'"
"Unlike lupus, or beri-beri, or
dengue fever, or syphilis,
CFS doesn't exist
for most of the medical profession.
One can traipse around for years to
different doctors' offices,
only to be told that one's
tests are 'negative' ---
which is doctor-speak for
You're OK, you just
think you're sick."
"He is bringing his hand to his head,
but it is not helping because
his head is cracking and the blood
is spilling out like milk from coconut.
I am hearing laughing all around me
even as I am watching him
trying to hold his head together."
"While the rest of us
were deploring the antics of Joe McCarthy,
we now realize that it was mostly a sideshow.
The true ruinators were
operating in the shadows."
"I wonder what
the maximum value of p is,
where p is the population of
'recognized immortals.' 1000? 10,000?
When Elvis Presley finds his seat,
does this force Dietrich Buxtehude out?
That's the only sort of life after death,
and it is in short supply."
Part I
"She said that
it didn't matter if
her savings account had nothing in it,
because the Holy Spirit
had told her that the rapture
would happen very soon,
so all of her debts would
never need to be paid."
Part II
"One of their sports at
summer camp was basketball.
The Lady Crusaders --- her team ---
was encouraged to 'Dribble for Jesus.'
One of her friends, Manuel,
learned a song about Christ,
which was set to the tune of 'BINGO' ---
There is a Savior in my heart and
Jesus is his name-o!
J-e-s-u-s, J-e-s-u-s and
Jesus is his name-o."
Empire
"Onward Chartered Soldiers, on to heathen lands,
Prayer books in your pockets, rifles in your hands.
Take the glorious tidings where trade can be done,
Spread the peaceful gospel --- with a Maxim gun.
Tell the wretched natives, sinful are their hearts,
Turn their heathen temples into spirit marts.
And if to your teaching they will not succumb,
Give them another sermon with the Maxim gun."
Leonard Wood
George Shearing
The Making of an Ink-Stained Wretch
Nia
Mother Meera
Beauty and Schizophrenia
MORE LETTERS
Route 66
My Bloody Life
EVEN MORE LETTERS
Even More
Reymundo Sanchez
My Bloody Life
Body
"'You've really never done this before?'
'No, never,' I say.
The undertaker smiles,
a warm and genuine smile.
'You could do this for a living.'
I'm not so sure what to do
with the compliment.
'Thanks,' I say, imagining myself
as an undertaker."
The Tijuana Titanic
"How glorious it would be
to sail past San Diego and
Long Beach and Dana Point ---
all bright lights and music,
forging ahead
into the foggy darkness,
racing along at twenty-five knots,
to collide, finally and inevitably,
with an errant ice-cube calved by the
Santa Barbara Yacht Club
Cocktail Lounge."
Consciousness
"It makes you aware of the fact
that any time --- when you're
walking across the street --- some little thing
might happen in your brain to completely
deprive you of your dignity for
the rest of your life, and turn you
into one big suffering confused mess.
We are very fragile beings."
"I planned to leave,
with or without a doctor's discharge.
'What about those I.V. lines?'
Larene was skeptical.
'You expect me to follow you down the street,
pushing that stand?'
'I'll pull them out.'
'You gonna pull out that tube?'
I wrapped both hands around it and tugged.
Immediately I began to gag and surrendered.
Larene left the room laughing."
Talking with the Governor
"I've been appointed poet laureate of my state.
Granted, it's the least populated state in the union
and one which many Americans can't place on a map.
Still, I could receive no greater honor.
But I offer few thanks and seem, I'm afraid,
not quite present. The fact is, I've been babysitting
a friend's dog while she's away in Denver
getting some culture."
"It's like being lost
in the forest, hungry, with a
plump live chicken in your cradling
arms: you want to savage the bird,
but you also want the eggs.
You go weak on your legs."
"You watched the stylish yachts and ships;
one of them had a long trip ahead of it,
while salty oblivion awaited others.
You've seen the refugees heading nowhere,
you've heard the executioners sing joyfully.
You should praise the mutilated world."
Paradox-of-the-Month
A complete list of all books reviewed in RALPH,
arranged by title, including author, subject, and publisher,
plus a listing of all readings, articles and poems
that have appeared since 1994.
of our most notorious reviews
as collected in the hard-copy
"FOLIO"
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Submitting Books The best way to get books to RALPH for review. Submitting Reviews Suggestions for would-be reviewers --- and payment schedule. History RALPH didn't spring full-blown from the brows of the gods: We've been around (in different guises) for over thirty years. The Fessenden Fund Describing the good works of RALPH's official godparent Behind the Scenes The Faces of Those Who Make Up the Face of RALPH Copyright Notice The Reginald A. Fessenden Educational Fund, Inc. |
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