An Important Letter from the Federal Reserve


ATTN: Fund Beneficiary,

Look, we have a meeting with the Federal Reserve Board today we informed them that your fund should not cost you any thing because is your money Moreover, we have an agreement with them that you should pay only transfer fee of your fund which is 55 U.S. DOLLARS .However, you have only two working days to send this 55 U.S. DOLLARS for the transfer of your fund into your account, if we don't hear from you with the payment information; the The Federal Reserve Board will cancel the found

I want you to read below notice carefully, as the notice stand as caution before it is late. for your consideration, you must be conscious of this project, as I will soon conclude this transaction with you, incase of any e-mails, calls you receives regarding this from any individuals claimed to be me, or e-mails, calls from any organization to you, such must be forwarded at once to me immediately by e-mail.

Also, it might come to you with different proposals with different names including my name asking you to come and claim your estate or even funds belonging to you or to somebody you do not know, I urge you to ignore such e-mails or calls, while you forward it to me.

You have to reconfirm your full information such as follow:

{1}. Your Full Name and Address:
{2}. Your Confidential Tell, Cell and Fax Number for easier and faster communication:
{3). Your Bank name and address:
{4). Your A/c Name and Numbers:
(5). Your Swift Code / Routing Numbers:

§   §   §

My Dear Mrs. Yellen (May I call you Janet?):

Your email with your wonderful offer came just in time. We've had a bit of a problem with what we so laughingly call the bottom line here at "The Review," and we are assuming that with what you are offering in what you call "the found" will make it possible for us to be able to take off and fly like birds.

We understand that the Federal Reserve has access to many currencies, and for that reason, we would humbly ask that you not give us these monies in the form of leks (from Albania), nor the pula (of Botswana), the kuna (of Croatia), the kip (of Laos), and most especially the hryvnia (of the Ukraine).

And it is not that we are even suspicious of your own prime currency --- the dollar --- but if it is possible, we'd love to have our payments in coins of the realm, namely gold coins of the United States, the small change that we can feel, caress, and if necessary, fill in bags and sleep on (and sleep the sleep of the just) at night.

As you can imagine, Janet, since we received this letter, visions of sugarplums have indeed danced in our heads, and we will be the first to let you know --- if you have to personally check up on how we are spending our new-found wealth --- when it would be opportune for you to come visit.

Our present offices are a little shabby, the Mr. Coffee machine seems clogged with yesterday's mashed potatoes, the office refrigerator unfortunately had to be converted into a place for safe-keeping, to store our few motley receipts and the mountain of old bills that are still alas, outstanding and driving us bonkers.

You can be assured as soon as your new financing is in hand and in place, we will not only pay off our many outstanding debts but will doll up the place to the fare-thee-well, so that when you arrive, you will be, we are sure, enchanted by our new layout and our stylin.'

By the time you get here, we will be, as they say, Putting on the Ritz!

--- Yours,
With Great Affection,
L. Lark
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