Ode to the Gefilte Fish | Kevin Coval

my grandfather would eat dozens
at a time out of jars like cookies.
gelatinous bone jelly dripping
from his fingers like honey.

around Pesach i look forward
to the story of our people devising liberation
strategies and this loaf of fish on a glass plate
a sliced, boiled carrot on top, perhaps, a mound
of horseradish, the mush of hot mess
sliding down my throat like mucus.

gefilte fish is the perfect food
for a wandering people, weaving around
europe with sacks, scrounging scraps
seaside, a boatload of cuttings, unwanted
bones and guts, a mish-mash of whitefish
carp, pike, anything with protein that's kosher
patty-caked with matza crumbs, discarded bits
the baker would throw away, put to use

an environmentally forward Ashkenazic hamburger of sorts!
a culinary amalgamation! a Yiddish for the palate!
a chit'lins of the shtetl!

gefilte means stuffed!
i eat them like doughnut holes
until i live up to the name.
they are not sweet. they smell
like sweaty asses at the shvitz.
but in one ground nugget

a day's nutrients. a touchstone
in diaspora, a testament to perseverance
and the ingenuity to live
with stank breath.

my bubbe in the backyard
wears a gas mask, grinding horseradish
from scratch to lather these beige balls.

this salty bland doorstop of a main dish.
the messiah will come before it's reinvented
on celebrity cooking shows.

and i hate to say this
but it is the golem in the room
and my nose is already too big.
i can't afford to tell a lie...
gefilte fish looks like balsa wood
took a shit

but tastes like history.

my grandfather is dead.
i eat to honor stories he never told me.

this flawed, lovely creation
tastes so much like home.
bitter. sweet.