A Modest ProposalWe at the American Arbitrage Foundation are pleased to see our general outlook mirrored so exactly in the Republican Party. As a public service, we here offer further policy proposals for adoption by the GOP.
As Republican campaigners point out all the time, America's major problem today is low morale amongst the divine beings we call "The Job Creators." Alas, our present system fills these beings with worry and anxiety about the tax and regulatory burdens they stagger under. What can we do, beside just worshipping them, to ease their pain?
The first step, championed by every GOP candidate, is to reduce their present onerous tax load. For a start, abolishing all taxation of dividends and capital gains would enable certain Job Creators, such as hedge-fund managers and former governor Mitt Romney, to escape their present crushing burden of a tax rate that may be as high as 15%. Unfortunately, many top executives receive part of their annual millions in the form of, well, a salary, just like the rest of us drones. So, they now labor under the excruciating top marginal tax rate of 35%. Surely we can do something to reduce such Bolshevik exactions on the demigods to whom we owe so much.
The solution is simple: the SUPER-FLAT TAX, in which the marginal rates DECREASE rather than increase, with income. Under our proposal, salary income will be taxed at the rate of 35% UP TO $80,000; then drop to 20% between $80,000 and $1 million; and then zero taxation of income over a million, the salary level typical of top corporate executives. This tax structure would provide the incentives we need to ensure that executives and entrepreneurs create jobs, prosperity, goodness, and perpetual motion machines for us all.
American liberty is threatened by a second current danger: the possibility that alien beings from other planets are passing as American citizens and voting in our elections. This travesty could be prevented by imposing a simple new requirement on the franchise: voters would have to prove that they owned capital ON THIS PLANET amounting to some simple, convenient value, such as, let's say, $20 million or more. With this simple restriction, we could all rest easy that extra-terrestrials could never, ever take over our government. This plan has the additional virtue that it limits the vote to The Job Creators, thereby insuring that mere job-holders have no influence over matters beyond their station. Our Job Creators would then no longer need to brood and worry about government interference, and they could get on with the great work of putting America back on track.Dagny Førskring
Director of Policy
American Arbitrage Foundation