Girls, Parties, Cars, &ct.

There is another RALPH floating around in the wilds of the Internet. It appeared in 1997, three years after the RALPH you are reading now.

Recently, one Michael Pickering, editor of the other RALPH, wrote to let us know that our namesake magazine had reached its 100th issue. Our thoughts at the time were on the order of those of Samuel F. B. Morse, e.g.: "What Hath God Wrought?"

Pickering explained that RALPH le hot "was aimed at young men interested in girls, parties, cars, etc..." We had already figured that one out from several strange e-mails that drifted into our box, looking for models with names like Imogen Bailey, Erin Normoyle or Nikki Visser ... whoever they may be.

Our response to Pickering was the following:

"Ralph: The Review of Arts, Literature, Philosophy and the Humanities is, too, seeking readers who are interested in girls ... "girls who've grown up (like Virginia Woolf, Jane Austen, and the Brontės); parties (Whigs, Tories, Mugwumps); and cars (Cords, Pierce-Arrows, and Stanley Steamers)."

"We could in no way be selfish with our name," we went on, "for the word "ralph" is a free-for-all. According to Richard A. Spears' Dictionary of American Slang,

    'Ralph and Rolf --- intransitive --- to empty one's stomach; to vomit (Teens and collegiate. See also Cry Ruth.) "She went home and ralphed for an hour." "I think I am going to rolf."'

"We also recalled that old mot --- we don't care what you say about us, just be sure you spell our name right. And, I suspect, that includes a beer-in-the-cooler/girls-in-bikinis magazine that happens to share the same moniker."

We concluded,

    What else can we do besides be jealous of RALPH's seven jillion hits vs. our paltry 10,000/day? Cry ruth?

We signed it,

--- Sexcerely yours,
Lolita Lark, Editor,
Pater Patriæ
Send us e-mail


Go Home

Go to the most recent RALPH