A Guide to
The Signposts in
The Garden of Eden

I.
You are now entering
the Garden of Eden.
No food or beverages allowed.
Fig leaves required
past this point.

II.
The management
reserves the right
to refuse admittance
to anyone.

III.
Garden of Eden apples
may be unsuitable
for young children.
Parental discretion
is advised.

IV.
Warning:
The Surgeon General
has determined
that the Tree of Knowledge
may be hazardous
to your health.
Pick at your own risk.

V.
Please do not feed
or annoy
the snakes.

VI.
Only you
can prevent
hellfire.

VII.
Adam and Eve slept here.

VIII.
Take home
an original sin.
For more information
call 1-800-222-EDEN.

IX.
The management
is not responsible
for lost souls.

X.
You are now leaving
the Garden of Eden.
We hope you have enjoyed
your visit.
Steep descent ahead.
Please watch your step
as you exit.

©1996, Mike Maggio


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